The power of positive thought is often debated. Some equate positive thinking with "ignoring" the reality of situations. Others view it as being similar to simply "hoping" for the best. Some people have a pessimistic mindset as they move through life. They expect the worst from people, and expect bad things to happen. Oddly enough, their life experiences are typically consistent with this message. When something is wrong, these individuals are quick to complain, and are the first to point out flaws in any possible solution.
Yet, people who utilize the power of positive thought typically feel that the benefits are clear. However, the benefit is something that is hard to describe. It's difficult to "convince" someone that they should try looking for the positives in negative situations. Yet, for people who are struggling through depression, the desperation of wanting to feel better is often a catalyst for them to try new things.
I encourage my clients who are experiencing mood issues to try implementing a daily "positivity practice." It is fairly simple, and can be done discreetly:
1. In the morning, before getting out of bed, think of one thing that you are looking forward to for the day.
2. At mid-day/lunch, think of one thing that has gone well so far for the day. Ideally, this should be something that you were part of making happen.
3. At bedtime, think of one thing for which you are grateful. It can be a "global" thing, and does not need to be related to your day.
I believe that sometimes our brains can get "locked" in a negative pattern. As a result, when we look at daily life, we see negative events and issues. With training, we can increase our awareness of the positives that are also present. Most clients who incorporate a positivity practice feel that it is beneficial, even if it is just in the short-term.
In the great scheme of things, there is nothing to lose by looking for the positives. In fact, there may be an immeasurable amount to gain!
Be well,
There's a great post floating around Facebook. It is a triangle, with the points marked "happy kids," "clean house," and "your sanity." It says "Pick 2!" It gave me a good laugh, but also reminded me that most of us do NOT want to limit ourselves to "just" 2!
When many hear the word "balance," they may picture 2 sides of a scale, resting evenly. More often, the concept of "balance" is applied to our lives... as in we have NO balance! The demands of work, home, and relationships make it difficult to feel like we have it all.
Is "balance" in life really achievable? I encourage people to look at balance as being "fluid." That is, picture the 2 sides of the scale moving up and down evenly. This indicates that the scale is "balanced," without waiting for it to come to a complete stop.
Family life today requires us to conceptualize balance in "motion." There needs to be a degree of flexibility, and some prioritizing as well. Kids today are enrolled in more extra curricular activities than in generations past. Who is shuttling them to their activities? The parents! Many of whom are both working full-time. Weekends can be consumed by tournaments and competitions. The concept of "family dinner" is now often contained to take-out. Add to this the school work commitments, and the week can be very overwhelming.
However, before parenthood, parents were individuals, with individual interests and activities. It is important to maintain a connection with those components of our identities. Although this sounds good in "theory," it only adds to the overwhelm of a packed week!
That's where the concept of "balance in motion" comes in to play. We are the primary role models for our children. We need to show them what "balance" looks like. It does not need to be "all or nothing." Making it to the gym twice per week may not be the same as the 5 times per week when you were childless, but it is absolutely better than no workouts. The idea of a "clean" house may seem like a silly fantasy. However, being able to involve kids in cleaning gives them a sense of responsibility and connection to the family home. Yes, it will not be as good as when you do it, but it will be "good enough." Parents also need to look at the number of activities they have their children enrolled in. Two teams, plus music lessons, may be too much for the family's schedule, and it may well be too much for the child as well! We want our kids to learn about prioritizing and making choices.
We may not be able to have perfect balance, but we should be able to feel like we have a connection to the priorities in our lives.
Be well,
